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Unga




Remember my ka-subaru that broke down? Imagine this dude has never finished repairing it. Actually am at the garage and this dude has the audacity  to climb up another man's car and begin repairs while mine is collecting dust.

"Habari ya mzee?" (Dude who are calling mzee?,do I look like someone's dad?)

"Poa, bado hujamaliza na uko juu ya ingine?"

This conversation goes on roughly 20mins back and forth but he clams it will be done by end of weekend. Free advice never pay your mechanic the full amount at once, they never get the work done.(I think he was also smelling of alcohol)

Now am a disappointed man, I was supposed to catch up with Ndung'u at thika and discuss some 'shamba' deal but I guess I have to postpone.

I grab a bag pack from the hind seat, Yell at the mechanic again(if you don't yell this guys never take you serious) and head for the mall.

I have to call her again. Remember the noisy bus I was just saying yes to everything plus the unborn trama so the boy child could not remember a thing.

"Hi baby? U good?" ( you know this women u can't just jump straight to the question.) "Quick one you said unga and what?"

She rumbles for like 10mins. The reason why am not complaining she got a sweet voice(if only I can attach a recording, but then I love my life more.). I grasp the main points and head on.

Ladies am speaking in behalf of all the men out there when you giving vital information kindly don't side track as we loose focus quick then you get agitated If we do something totally different from what you said. Ama namna gani?

Finally I get to finish shopping although I think I forgot something but I don't wanna wake the dragon.

Luckily I see mutiso (emergency cab guy. Imagine we only see each other at night.) I didn't know he is 'yellow yellow'.

He convinces me that I should not walk home in this scorching sun.
"Man's not hot", my reply as that what cool kids say nowadays.

We had a big laugh and he dropped me around the estate. Am home handed the bad to 'mama' am at the couch....

"Baib what the hell is this?" I nearly jumped out of my skin. (She is holding the bag. Did she find a condom? or ladies panties?)

I had given this bag to earlier to ken who is obsessed with bitches(that's how he calls ladies. A single confused young man but he is a good guy)

"Ilikuwa na ken, kwani what's up?"

"The flour is all over" ( has your blood pressure ever dropped from 315 to 129? The sigh of relief I was already sweating)

Taking a closer look the 'unga' is all over the bag. How did it even open. The trauma we facing due to the paper bag ban will kill us.

I had decided to cut cost and buy some cheap flour. Little did I know cheap is expensive.

I pick the bag to do the clean, up not that I like it but its just in case ken left some stuff in there.

I now look like a little todler white all over. Even my keyboard Is now white(looks like a Mac). let me catch a shower as you type in your comments .....

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