Skip to main content

Thevies









News has become more complicated and political than ever. I no longer understand it. It’s either party A party blaming party B, and party B throwing the blame back. If not that it’s an accident in some highway that has claimed over 20 lives. if no one died it’s not worth their time.

 

Thanks to the digital migration there like 100 channels you can flip to. On the disadvantaged side there like 95 vernacular channels. Every tribe in Kenya am sure got their own channel I appreciate the culture diversity but the hell.

 

End up settling for history channel I know it’s boring but how do I watch cartoon network while Mrs. is around? I need to show her am a real man and i watch manly stuff.

 

Minutes later she shows up with dinner. I was dead hungry but as a man .........(the things society makes you go though as a man) I play cool assume the food for a sec then dive in slowly( also I have make sure I don't clear the whole plate otherwise she will know i was hungry and she will offer me more food).

 

By now the tattoo has healed and thanks to the Gods it wasn't permanent. I had to go for a doctor’s visits just to have it checked out. You never know this is how cancer begins.

 

The doc said it will fade off within a month or two he also gave me some jelly to apply. So far, she has no clue or she might have seen it and assumed as well. Either way am not saying a damn thing. I have been on long sleeved shirts since then.

 

She is still here just chit chatting you know women and stories funny thing she is kind off enjoying this history channel so I have also to pretend to follow. (can't believe am missing out on season 18 of filmstone on CN).

 

It’s almost 10pm and got a long day tomorrow. Call it a wrap and leave for bed. She on the other hand decides to follow suite.

 

I had already slept as she joined in and insists i hold to sleep (i have never understood why ladies like being cuddled till they asleep). Wrap my arms around her and off to dreamland.

 

"What is it? please let’s do it tomorrow" i beg her.

 

"What is wrong with you? Someone is at the door"

 

"What? who? " I ask (sounds of a broken window)

 

"Sheeeeeeee be silent”, I hope you locked the door?"  (She nodes in agreement.)

 

Am scared as f*** never been in a fight since primary school and this minute my manhood is being put to test. slowly get up put on my pants ain’t  fighting anybody with boxers on. All this time am brushing up on my hostage negotiation skills you know from all the movies i have watched, just in case he wanna talk

 

Please note am still scared to death i can’t see anything still no idea if the intruder is armed or not, he/she has broken in or not.

Step one grab a knife the only weapon close enough. why have i never applied for a gun? these would have been much easy, simple procedure sneak up on him, scream “hands up!” or “drop your weapon!”, if he makes any sudden moves a couple of shots on the head and dial 911. All done and every praise me for saving the day.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Unborn

The day had began on a higher note, the sun is not fully out yet but the weather is calm, I have just finished taking my breakfast. (Which by the way am very full cant lift a muscle am forced to chill a little longer on the couch). There is nothing better in this world like marrying a good woman(almost said perfect then just remembered ..... You know). Then things get better if she is of good character and looks good physically (forget the crap people say 'beauty is inward'). Let me break it down. She is chocolate in complexion, sightly chubby but not to much someone I can lift.(what's up with this small girls nowadays they all  wanna be skinny.) Perfect shape, everything its where its supposed to be, correct shoe size, good nose structure as well as dental. U know that ka-chich you ogle at when you walking along moi avenue? That's what I have in the house. To add salt to an injury she she can cook. (Dem, what did i do to deserve this). If you haven't noticed...

The unborn Part 2

Half way the journey the bus is full and since we are Kenyans the bus has to Carry excess passages (make me understand how you would get into a full bus and still be conformable to journey on) I brush off that argument and jump online check out what the world is up to. Suddenly the driver decides to blast loud music into our tiny fragile earlobes. Its a miracle I can still hear.(or can someone shout  my name, I may need a new set of ears) Scrolling down on twitter(there is this hashtag #savetheboychild that blowing the internet) and get a good laugh which lights my mood again. 'Ghafla bin voo',(Swahili saying) there is this shadow that clears the sunrays from my face. Am kinda happy but curious on how good the deal it  is. Looking up lord dear lord what did I do to you to deserve this? I went to church last Sunday , gave my offering, what else do you need? There is this lady whose height I can't tell by the big massive tummy. Is she sick or pregnant? Its so big i...

The sack (gunia)

By now am panting heavily my toungue out gasping for as much air as possible.( this is the point where I wish we would breath though the skin). Five seconds are not even over up on our heals again. Let me clear the air you may think I changed ma career but no. I happen just to be in the in the wrong place at the right time. Now we at 'koja' facing ngara. One guy asks me " wako wapi?" And without even thinking I relied: " ata sijui" The air clears no more running battles, they start arranging their sacks on the ground and display their  merchandise. I collect  my breath for a few more minutes and begin waking back to the CBD. As I approach fire station am grabbed ruthlessly by some guy and before I could curse out a few words or even form a fist I was facing the opened back door of a city council van. "Mumeshinda hapa mukitusumbua Leo mtarujua"; this were words of one of the guys as he kicked my ass into the van. We were like 27people in ...